AULA: Spanish for hell.

I must be in hell, because:

1) This is a 5 day, 9 hours per day, event. I am at my booth alone. This is still day one.

2) Day one has mostly been a parade of annoying high schoolers, most not at all interested in what they are seeing here, because they were all bussed in by their escuela. They are just collecting brochures and checking each other out. I’ve been promised the serious grad students come later in the week.

3) A large proportion of these high school students smoke, with no concern to being indoors, around grown-ups, whatever. Probably because the grown-ups are just as into it. They all do this as they walk around, looking at different booths, ashing wherever, stubbing wherever, but they especially do it as they take breaks near the refreshment and snack carts. Wanna guess where one is? Yeah, next to my booth.

4) An incredibly small proportion of these students (almost nil) speak English. I just read that the Spanish are behind only the Italians in this aspect (the Arkansas and South Carolina of Europe, I suppose). Now, I speak enough Spanish to communicate anyways (I managed to argue with, and cuss out a cabbie this morning), but they can’t go to my university if they don’t speak any English, which makes me wonder why the hell I’m even here (no other US schools are). But what about my university's English as a Second Language (ESL) program, you ask? That brings me to…

5) The British Council. This Brit gov’t organization promotes both the study of English the language, and studying in England the place. They really have their stuff together. Their booth is next to mine (opposite snacks and smokers). They have a juggler, refreshments, finger-food, a large staff, etc. The British Council also offers a wide array of cheap English language programs, right here in Spain. Why go abroad for ESL at college prices? Anyway, our program assumes some knowledge. Most of these kids have none.

6) Past the British Council somewhere is another booth. I don’t see it, but I certainly hear it. They are playing the same promo reel, loudly, over and over and over… driving me INSANE!

7) The only thing that can save me from complete boredom/insanity, is watching the females who walk by, in their well-fitted European jeans. Then I must remind myself that many are probably underage. Hell. I’m in hell.

8) I can’t forget the guys though. I will say this – the mullet is alive and well in Spain, and mainstream. Not quite the same as ours. It is a short fan-like mullet, combined with even shorter (usually crew-cut) hair on top. I’ve heard it’s a soccer thing. We’ll call it the Euro-mullet.

Four more days. Four more days. I must get a book. Or three. I knew the Lord would punish me for the fun I had in Seville. I'm only laughing on the blog, believe me.